personal: love letter 11/01

Some incredible shift has happened for me. I can’t quite put my finger on it, and yet I recognize that it has been in the works for quite some time (months? years? lifetimes?).

It’s as if there’s an integral part of my soul that has awaken. It’s so much bigger than just a change in geography. It’s so much bigger than just a new chapter in this life.

For so long there has been this incessant “knocking” inside me. So quiet at times, just a whisper. At at times so loud it’s pushed me to crack open and crumble.

I have fought it, I’ve ignored it. Not recognizing that this is important. This part of myself, so unwaveringly demanding to be acknowledged.

Everything else - depression, fear, uncertainty, ego - has eclipsed the knocking. Until now. Until I listened. Until I trusted.

The knocking has become so dependable through the rollercoaster that life has been. Through its steadfastness, I’ve learned to sit with it. I’ve learned to recognize it as something important to pay attention to. I’ve learned to patiently sit with everything going on in my mind, until there was enough settling to rest in this deeper part of myself. I’ve learned to find refuge it in.

And here I am now, with so much trust in this part of myself that is behind the door. I can feel it cracking open, this part of myself stepping into the light.

Finally.

—

What have you been called to? Where are the parts of yourself that are neglected or forgotten? Can you listen for the whispers? Can you let yourself trust?

When was the last time you simply placed your hand on your heart, invited your mind to quiet, and just listened? When was the last time you turned in for wisdom, rather than reached outward?

There is far more within yourself than you know. Listen. Trust. Awaken.